Why New York?

Many people have asked why we chose to move to New York and why I made the move from being a local church pastor to being a chaplain in a federal prison.  Some people have told me that they are still in shock by this move and I am among those who are still in shock.  New York is not a place I would have chosen for myself and my family, but it is the place that God opened the door.  But the decision to minister in a prison was a three-year process.  Actually, it was a process that started much earlier than that.  But it was only three years ago that I realized that God was leading this direction. 
Reason 1--God Called
I was pastoring a church in Big Spring, TX about 4 years ago when a few events culminated.  First, a wind storm (not an unusual event in West Texas) came along that damaged the steeple on the church building.  I called every contractor in town and only one guy would take the job.  All others did not want to make the 60ft. climb just to look at it.  But, this one contractor who took the job turned out to be an ex-convict who spent 11 years incarcerated prisons in Texas and Oklahoma.  A chaplain really worked with this guy and he made a change.  Now, he works with guys in prison and works with them when they are released.  The day he came to look at the steeple, he and I began a conversation about faith and ministry that we continue to this day.  Soon, I started going into the local county jail with him to work with the inmates and served on the Board of Directors of his ministry.  He taught me a lot about the world of those incarcerated. 
Second, around that same time, I took notice of a man and his common-law wife who had moved in across the street from the church.  He came by to use the church office phone on occasion.  They did not have a phone or air conditioning.  One day I noticed they were sitting in their doorway to stay cool.  I felt compelled to come over and talk with them.  I did not know what I was going to talk about, but I went.  I invited him to our Men's Breakfast at the church the next morning.  He showed up.  A few days later, his wife shows up at the church during a lady's WMU meeting, crying uncontrollably and asking to speak with me.  She wanted to tell me that her husband was in jail and asked me to visit him because I was the closest he had to a friend (all I did was invite him to breakfast).  A few days later, his wife was in jail too.  This couple had a lot of baggage.  Soon, I was making regular visits to the county jail to visit both of them.  Little did I know at the time that the wife would die a year later of colon cancer.  Before she died, she wrote me a letter thanking me for coming by.  She said that her faith was a result of the efforts of Brandy and I reaching out to her. 
It's not my intention to pat myself on the back in this blog.  But during the entire time that I was trying to minister to this family, an inconvienent reality hit me.  This family would never come to the church I was pastoring.  They would not come and they would not be received.  They would be repulsed by the other.  Though there were some exceptions, the membership in that church made it clear that they did not want people with the baggage that this family carried.  Unfortunate for them, this family was a good microcosm of what the surrounding community had morphed into.  This church wanted to grow, but they were not if they were not going to love this family.  Not only this, but also they were expressing their opposition to our children's ministry picking up kids from the projects and rough neighborhoods in Big Spring.  I sometimes felt that I was fighting a battle on two fronts; the battle of working with people with the baggage and fighting off the opposition by fellow Christian believers.
It's also not my intention to bash former parishioners in this blog, but I do need to mention one more thing that led to this decision.  That church was embroiled in drama.  It was drama over little nit-picky, insignificant stuff.  But it was made a big deal because some people love drama more than they love Jesus.  Not only did it wear Brandy and me down, but also it helped me realize another inconvenient reality; even if we did reach these baggage-laced families in the church, the church-drama would have run them off. 
It was about that time that I realized that I had no future at that church.  As I was seeking out options about what I could do, I happened upon an ad for prison chaplaincy.  That got me thinking about the possiblity of working one-on-one with people and not having to deal with the church drama.  So I applied to be a chaplain with the Federal Bureau of Prisons in Spring 2010.  Brandy and I went to Dallas to meet with the Chaplaincy Director of the Baptist General Convention of Texas.  We had to receive ecclesiastical endorsement in order to be considered by the Bureau. 
Even though the BGCT approved me for endorsement, some strange coincidences occured regarding paperwork to the Bureau.  For some reason, paperwork kept getting misplaced or lost in the mail.  While we were waiting for that to get straightened out, I received a phone call from the pastor search committee of First Baptist Church, Mathis, TX.  We explored that route and accepted their call to come.
Little did we know how much we needed that experience.  This church was with minimal drama.  They were loving and supportive of us.  We were closer to Brandy's dad when he became sick and passed-away.  We were closer to family when Brandy became pregnant and had Landry.  Also, I was able to complete my doctoral work at Truett Seminary while being at a church that was very supportive of me completing it. 
However, during the time that we were there, Brandy and I would occassionaly discuss that we felt that I would be doing the prison chaplaincy one day.  We needed to do it for our family's sake, which leads to the next major reason.
Reason 2--I Needed to Provide for my Family
Being a church pastor is tough.  You are expected to be a master orator, counselor, capital fund-raiser, marketer, and have to bring in the consumers.  In addition, you better be there to wipe the nose of every congregant who has the sniffles, but better be at your office when someone drives up to the church to see you.  I digress from my cynicism, but there are many impossible and unbiblical expectations placed on the pastor.  It's even tougher on his family.  My wife had to learn that people will bad-mouth me out of pure ignorance.  Furthermore, she had to learn just to keep her mouth shut when someone does this because trying to reason with such a person is like mud-wrestling with a pig (you'll only end up getting dirty and only the pig will enjoy the mud). 
However, having a child changes your perspective on many things.  After Landry was born, I started thinking about the experience I wanted her to have while growing up.  I wanted her to have her daddy.  The pastorate can easily take up 50-60 hours of your week.  The family is the first to be sacrificed.  I don't want this for my child.  Also, I started thinking about what she should have for church experience during her childhood and adolescent years.  I want her to know the Lord.  Pastor's kids can have a tough church experience and crisis of faith by the way they witness church-people treating their family.  I didn't want Landry hearing Ms. So-and-So bad-mouthing her daddy just because she didn't think he was as good a preacher as the previous pastor.  I didn't want her to have to tell her friends that daddy couldn't make it to her basketball game because the deacons called a meeting with him because they don't like him.  I didn't want her to wonder if God is real because this group of fellow Christians forced her daddy and family out of the church.  I know that I cannot protect Landry from knowing every bad detail, but I want her to have the experience of growing up in church out of the spotlight.  She doesn't hear all of the drama and she doesn't have to live in the glass-house with all eyes watching her. 
In addition, I want Landry to have her mom too.  Working for the Bureau of Prisons allows me to earn a salary where Brandy doesn't have to work.  It's important that she be home with Landry during this time.  Also, this job provides benefits for the entire family.  Believe it or not, my insurance with Guidestone (insurance provider of the Southern Baptist Convention) was more of a nuisance than a provider.  Given Brandy's health history, they denied coverage for her.  We appealed and appealed and we kept getting rejected and rejected.  I have plenty to say about this, but now we have insurance for all of us and it is much needed. 
Reason 3--You Just Do It
I applied all over the U.S. when I was trying to get on as a chaplain with the FBOP.  I was hoping for one of the institutions in Texas.  But Ray Brook, New York was the first to call.  Believe me, the prospect of moving to New York scared me.  But the Bureau's policy of giving military veterans first preference meant that I was fortunate enough just to be considered for a position.  Brandy was on board with it from the beginning, the pieces fell in place, so that was confirmation that this was of God.  Since arriving here, I have learned more.  I have learned that my Senior Chaplain is proficient in training new chaplains such as myself.  This institution has few problems compared with other prison institutions.  In addition, some of the other institutions that I have applied to have had numerous problems as of late (or so I've heard through the grapevine).  This is a good place to start out.  I don't know how long God will have us here, but this is where we are to be right now. 
We were happy in Texas.  I enjoyed pastoring FBC Mathis, TX.  But I knew God was calling us here.  I think if I passed up this opportunity/calling, I would be regretting it the rest of my life.  It wasn't easy moving here in the dead of Winter.  It hasn't always been easy living here.  But this is where God has placed us.  You just do it when God says so. 

So those are the reasons that the Stehle's are now in upstate New York.....